I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
