So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
