She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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