shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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