I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
