She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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