Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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