I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
