There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Randomize
