Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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