watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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