It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
