He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My vagina just clenched in fear
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