Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
