My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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