When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
