She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
