all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
