I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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