whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize