yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
