ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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