party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
