I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
