you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
