That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The air taste purple.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
