In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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