Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
