I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
