my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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