She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
