Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
