Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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