She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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