I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
