Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
