Swine flu. Run for my life!
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
