Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
