I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
