At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
