I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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