if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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