Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
