Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
