I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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