My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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