Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
