if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
