Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
