so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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