Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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