1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize