the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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