he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
