I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
