found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
