doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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