you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
im holly from the hills drunk
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
