I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
