You work out of a Hotel?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
