Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
foreskin is a definite game changer
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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