"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
