you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
