I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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